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It is a brave journey to commence but the payoffs are huge.
The people who developed the original 12 steps program brought some powerful to the world.
Most of the time pornography is a symptom of something that goes much deeper and usually has a much longer history.
Over many years speaking to thousands of men I have learned that so many times each man carries a past of trauma or pain and long ago pornography became their default source for comfort.
So, perhaps you have this porn addiction to overcome.
It is among the many challenges that, in overcoming, will build you as a man, and will write the fascinating story that you will one day look back on say, “That was my life.” The tragic story if you fail will also be an interesting one.
At that time I had already been counseling several younger men about the dangers of imprinting their neurology with pornography. When you are present with a woman you care about during love making, there is a mutual surrender and mutual acceptance that is, perhaps, the most rare and most pleasurable of all human experience. It is further worth noting that beating yourself up over the urge to look also feeds attention to the neural net.
So, finally, the third tip is to recognize, embrace, and laugh about your ultimate humanity. Be prepared for setbacks and failures and just know that this is part of the journey of being a human.
Your sense of humor and ease around the struggle, your refusing to beat yourself up over being a human, is the best way to starve attention out of the habitual pattern.
I am very excited to introduce this inspirational collaborative post including some of my favorite sexuality writers/bloggers on the topic of porn addiction. If this idea gives you anxiety or makes you cringe, then you don’t have the “Porn is NOT an Option” mindset yet. He hosts the website “Your Brain On Porn” for those seeking to understand and reverse compulsive porn use: do you watch porn? If you are not sure what’s realistic, use others experiences and adapt your goals along the way.
I asked my list of 10 influential sexual health writers this simple question: The insight and quality in their answers Below is a list of all ten contributors. What are you going to do when you realize that losing weight isn’t as easy as you thought it would be? If you’re having urges on day 17 and you’re slightly considering watching porn, then that means that in your mind you haven’t truly made the decision to quit. Set milestones and work your way from milestone to milestone.
You can click on a name to navigate directly to their respective contribution. What are you going to do when you’re stuck in a traffic jam for 2 hours and you’re hungry as fuck? If you know that you’re going to be home alone this weekend and you’re worried about relapsing, then that means you’re not ready yet.” Get clear that watching porn is not a part of your life anymore. Stop obsessing about what day you’re on, journaling about your misery, and hanging out too much on recovery forums. Your family, your dreams, your health, your career. Instead of being too overambitious, as I might have been at the beginning, set smaller goals and milestones and make sure to step back from time to time and look at what you have accomplished.
If you’re struggling with porn addiction, I recommend you read them all! from Compulsion Wendy from Healthy Chris Haven from Quit Porn Get Mark Queppet from Sacred Sexuality All these bad feelings are temporary. If we keep taking refuge in porn and running away from pain and discomfort then we will never be able to grow as persons and become real men. What are you going to do when you realize that hitting on girls brings up a lot of anxiety and nervousness? Stepping back is as important as going after your milestones and goals.
You need a safe place with solid brothers where you can tell the truth, open up your pain and confusion and discover you are not alone. Addiction convinces the addict that they are the most shameful, awful person on the face of the planet. Once you start to travel with other men on the journey of honesty and discovery you discover that you are human and broken but definitely not alone.