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If you really can't find common ground, speak to a financial advisor.7. "Men stay in a marriage as long as they feel it's possible to be their spouse's salvation," says Tracy Thomas, Ph D, a licensed psychologist and relationship coach in San Francisco.
Praise your husband when opportunities arise, but don't say "good job," Thomas adds.
TIME: So many of your books have a medical element, and this one does, too. Sparks: In the end I think it reflects reality, right?
Even in the course of my own life, I was 23 years old and my mom was in a [fatal] horseback riding accident, and those last few hours were spent in the hospital. When Cathy and I were married, she had a miscarriage.
In my sense it kind of does fall into Einstein; the more I study the universe, the more I shake my head and say, “I don’t know how all these random elements come together without some guiding influence.” That’s my own perspective, you might call it “Intelligent Design.” For me, that resonates with the most sense.
" is one big reason guys take the speed ramp to Splitsville. But there's a difference between putting on weight and getting so big that the Discovery Channel would be intrigued if you washed up on a beach. "I have one client whose partner has a chin hair that bothers him so much," says Sherry Amatenstein, who specializes in couples' therapy in Long Island City, NY.
opens in theaters on Friday, it will mark the 11th feature film adapted from a novel by Nicholas Sparks, the global phenomenon whose love stories have sold more than 100 million copies worldwide.
TIME caught up with the novelist ahead of the film’s release to talk about his dramas, Stephen King and his dating life post-divorce.
So many people are so incredibly busy these days, and if you work and you have children and you have a partner, a husband, parents, siblings, pets, neighbors, you are running from the moment you wake til the moment you go to sleep. But my daughter, she says the same thing as some of my readers: “You have ruined men for me forever, because they’re just not romantic like this, Dad.” My daughter says this to me! To me, that’s a wonderful compliment of sorts, because it meant that they were able to escape into the story and forget that I had written it. "It's demeaning, as if he's a little boy." Instead, be specific—for example, tell him, "When you call me during the day, it makes me so happy to hear your voice," or "When you shovel the snow for us, it makes me feel so cared for!" Appreciating his everyday heroism can help you through marriage's rough spots.8. Maybe he's a softie who buys the kids treats, while you fear they'll never learn the value of money.Hammer our mutually acceptable policies about bedtimes, homework and consequences for misbehavior. But "focusing all your time and energy on your kids or career, and not at all on your husband, emasculates him and makes him feel as interesting as old furniture," cautions Fetman.And before you veto his viewpoint, see where he's coming from (maybe he grew up in a dicey neighborhood, so being home by sunset was a way to stay safe). Carve out a few minutes daily to talk to, listen to and laugh only with him. "When your guy is most likely to open up, whether it's while relaxing on the couch with a beer, or during pillow talk at bedtime," Fetman recommends. If his children from a previous relationship don't like you, your own couplehood is in danger.
"Meanwhile, there may be other women who are willing to treat him with admiration," Sedacca adds. Or pursue friendships with other happy couples—their dedication may inspire you both.6. If you two can't get on the same page about what to do with your money, it can cause a marriage meltdown, Amatenstein says, "because of the behaviors it leads to, like engaging in power struggles and keeping secrets, like big purchases, from each other." The remedy?