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When he asked who my favorite artists were, I mortifyingly responded that I was particularly fond of “Cindy Sherman and, um, Chagall.” As I left his place, he shoved 0 in my back pocket, slapping my ass for good measure.
I didn’t moralize this experience at the time, and I try not to now, but I enjoyed how immensely powerful the experience made me feel, not like a boyish object at another’s mercy, but like an enterprising exhibitionist, acquiring conquests and stories I’d have forapartment.
It’s a bit like Seamless — rendering a hookup, or, if you’re looking for them, drugs, as readily available as a carton of General Tso’s and as stringently transactional, too.I downloaded the app a few weeks into my freshman year in New York City, and it became — as it has for many gay millennial men — my first introduction to sex, a digitized But it’s certainly a far cry from what I was expecting.In moving to New York City from a suburb of Baltimore, where the prospects for sexual activity for a gay teen are dire, I imagined I was migrating to a place where queer folk commingled in gay bars, a place where the telegenic gay romances we were trained to pursue — Glee’s Kurt and Blaine, specifically — took place in real life, for everyday bow-tie-wearing urbanites.Older queer people have cautioned that the culture has ever been thus, from anonymous cruising in parks to the piers, bathhouses, phone lines, and today.But what does it mean that my friends and I are sitting together, silently perusing a grid of Mapplethorpian thumbnails of actual human beings instead of going out and enjoying the city, a sort of metropolitan refuge we yearned for just a few years “I just think it’s silly sometimes to give up so much to be in New York City just to sit on your phone in bed looking for the D,” says Hunter. I thought I’d bebar.” While the gay-bar scene is still bustling in Hell’s Kitchen, among other places, a scroll through Grindr is simply easier than staying out late drinking cocktails, hoping not to run out of cash before you get laid, and then figuring out how to get home.
Sure enough, he looked far older in person than he did on his profile, where his jaw was still chiseled, his hairline His apartment was ridiculously lush, a lower Fifth Avenue penthouse teeming with money and power and plastered in fancy art.